Tuesday, August 31, 2021

Birthday Approaching

          “Firm, Baby, Firm” is the name of a new lotion with collagen I just started using. The skin on my arms and hands seems tissue-thin these past few years and I get little unexplained cuts and abrasions; the doctor suggested the collagen to address what he suspects is a medication side-effect.

          I take more medications now than ten years ago but so do most of my friends who are roughly my age. We’re good at playing “Name That Statin.”

          Just started using an under-eye roll-on to attack dark circles and puffiness. I glance in the mirror and see a raccoon.

          “After age 70 it’s just patch, patch, patch,” Jimmy Stewart once said to Johnny Carson. To explain to those who are young, Johnny Carson was star of the Tonight Show for a long time and was awfully good at it. Jimmy Stewart was the Tom Hanks of his era. If you’re too young to know who Tom Hanks is, I cannot help you.

          I’m not 70 yet but the digits increase every birthday and somehow I’ll be a prime age but not a prime number on my next birthday—63. It’s not possible to explain how this happened. As a child I thought 19 was absurdly old. The five-year-old me would have no idea what to do with this gray-white, bearded, emotionally weathered version of himself, and to be fair I wouldn’t much know what to do with that kid other than give him dessert and try to answer his barrage of questions with exotic lies.

          Aging is bizarre. We don’t sign up for it but are enrolled anyway, somewhat like a cable TV marketing scam. It’s not our fault but we’re supposed to cope with it as it gradually robs us of powers we once took for granted.

          What’s happening? Among other things, our telomeres are unraveling. I have just enough understanding of the science of this to say that it’s bad—quite bad. Some geneticists suggest that if we could re-wrap our telomeres, the effects of aging could be halted or reversed. I’m hopeful that we might do better than halt aging some day so that I can once again have fine motor control and neater eyebrows, but I’m not betting we’ll learn to fix telomeres in time for me. Perhaps for some millennials though they’ll complain anyway.

          Are there benefits to aging? Well, AARP has some nice discounts. That’s all I’ve got. But don’t us older folk have a greater stockpile of wisdom? Sure, but also more short term memory gaps and an urgent, escalating desire for simple flip phones.

          Aging creates new opportunities, too—now I play a game called “I know more people who’ve had knee surgery than you do,” and it spurs countless hours of discussion. One need not have had knee surgery to play although then one could count oneself in the tally.

          I’m tempted to rewrite a song lyric—this is a constant for me—and the one I have in mind is “War,” by the Motown artist Edwin Starr. To that tune’s chorus, try this:

                   Age! Huh! (Good God, ya’ll)

                   What is it good for?

                   Absolutely nothing! (Say it again)

          But perhaps that’s too defeatist. And turn up the music, damn it, my hearing was ruined by rock concerts a long time ago.

          Aging beats death so far as I can tell but only by half a length in the Preakness, and it won’t win races forever. So, it is but a state to be tolerated for a season, defied when possible by meds or physical therapy or what one friend calls Colorful Personality Disorder.

          In the end, aging will dissolve and I’ll see heaven or perhaps nothingness, and I’m not sure I have a strong preference at this time. To see Jesus and ask those questions I’ve always wondered about (what the hell did you mean by the sword statement in Matthew 10:34?) and be enveloped by God’s grandeur—sounds great. To sleep indefinitely also sounds great. Do not make me pick.

          In the meantime, it’s “Firm, Baby, Firm” and under-eye rollers and assorted meds and sundry colonoscopies.

          But I’m looking forward to Colorful Personality Disorder—which I’ll manifest the second I retire. You are forewarned.

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